__ the coconut scratch orchestra __
Art and Words
The Unofficial Programme Notes
The Coconut Scratch Orchestra
(Shockingly an anagram of "The Cunt Crotch Chaos Creators.")
Blown elm tit
So modest a wino
I'm balls or I win
Oh! Rectal prime
Voted a penis
(Ben Willmott)
(Simon Eastwood)
(Robin Williams)
(Michael Porter)
(Pete Davison)
Mission Impossible
Most recently destroyed by velvet tones of the metal group Soggy Biscuit for the second Mission Impossible film it was originally written by Lalo Schifrin for a 60s TV series. Composed in a time signature no one seems to want to play in, Coconut have followed suit… although not in Soggy Biscuit style!
Primavera
As Santana himself put it "every note should be caressed like it was a woman"… If during solos members of the Orchestra are seen to be stroking their instruments we assure you that it is entirely proper and in the spirit of the song. The translation of the chorus in Spanish refers to "spreading one's seed in the springtime".
Soul Bossa Nova
Quincy Jones's "Soul Bossa Nova"… "rampant, yet cool". Frequent re-showings on TV reveal Quincy to not only be a great doctor, but also a first-rate detective. In his spare time between patients he has written many fantastic tunes.
What The World Needs Now
How the soft-porn industry missed Burt Bacharach we will never know, and it is a shame since many a second-rate film could so easily have been greatly enhanced by his musical talents. Again, if members of the Orchestra are seen to be stroking their instruments, nothing is amiss.
Be Alright
It is not true that Ben wrote this while on the toilet with a nasty case of syncopation. No one wanted to play that one… and sadly part of the manuscript was lost when once again everyone in the house had failed to buy any toilet paper. This tune Ben claims is the happiest he has ever written, and in boisterous fashion will bring the CSO set to an almost Wagnerian conclusion.
Thankyou for coming, and we hope you all enjoy yourselves.
The Story The Band The Lingo
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all artwork and audio on this site © 2002 Ben Willmott, all rights reserved.
© 2002
Ben Willmott
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